Story TIME!!! Do y’all remember when I was trying to do that “Sunday Story-time?” Do y’all remember when I named myself and my blog The Storyteller? MAN! That’s for another day. Today we’re here to talk about me and my first medical school exam.
The irony! As I’m writing this, I’m actually taking a break from studying for my SECOND round of Anatomy and Molecular Medicine tests. I feel so much older than I did just a few weeks ago and I believe that has a lot to do with my testing experience.
I was SO SO SO nervous when I took the Molecular Medicine exam the first time around. I kept thinking and saying to myself “you haven’t tested for anything in over a year. You haven’t tested for anything in over a year.” I was feeling very incompetent and even a little depressed after I took the tests. What’s worse is I kept finding myself around those people who love talking about the exam and what they got right and what other people got wrong. The little stresses were getting to me and I kept beating myself up about not studying the way I know I should have. I really did try but perhaps I could have tried harder? Maybe I could have studied longer. Maybe I could have cut back on sleep (lol). Maybe something. I was drowning in a sea of “idk” and somehow I didn’t even want to be saved.
Luckily my dad came and visited me during exam week and he helped me deal with the “idk” as I probably wasn’t the best host during that time. Those days waiting for the results were a blur. I remember speaking to my mentor about the exams but I couldn’t remember what she said. I remember speaking to my friends, my mom, myself…(as per usual) but I couldn’t actually remember the words of encouragement or assurance. I was in funk.
Exam grades were posted and I remember how my heart pounded as I opened to my grades expecting to see a sea of Cs…woah! I, Esté Ginelle, had surprised myself! I called my dad because that’s what I do. Almost in tears with the joy and slight embarrassment about how stressed I was (because after not taking a test in over a year, I remembered that that’s what I do too). This whole med-school thing wasn’t an episode of punk’d. I knew that I could do it. Even better, I was able to see where I needed to improve so that for the second round of tests (this upcoming Tuesday and Wednesday) I would be able to slay the scene and call it Jean.
I’m not one to talk about grades because, let’s be honest, that’s later than 2008 but I will say that if you’re a worrier like me and you’re in school (medical, pre-med, high school, whatever), just take a moment to breathe and think that these things you’re worrying about may never happen. In the grand scheme of life, this test means nothing. Yes, you should study but what IF you get a 85 instead of a 95? Or a 75? Are you less smart? Are you less of a person? Let me tell you now. Don’t sweat it. THIS is an example of small stuff. Go ye therefore and slay the scene. Be a gunner. An undercover gunner. Do what you need to do and everything will be ok. ESTÉ! Do what you need to do and everything will be ok! There’s no way that you’ll fail if you’re actually studying and preparing. Now if you’re studying with Netflix and WordPress and YouTube open, you might need to reconsider your strategy. But hey! You’re a smart cookie. You’re reading Esté Ginelle! *wink*
Lovelies, you have my heart but my head is in my books. Feel free to head on over to the right side of this page and click on that red/black/white YouTube button to see me talk about something crazy like coffee or something. Eh! But if you’re supposed to be studying…you know the deal.
I love you XXX! I’ll see you real soon.